The Domestic Front

This video is for the grandparents - nothing special, just a little conversation I captured.

Additionally, we are now 16 weeks...4 months! I don't know how its happening so quickly. I'm finally getting a little bump - proof below!

And one more highlight. Last night Belle slept in the big girl bed in her room. I went in this morning to greet her and layed down next to her to chat. She kept snuggling into her 'sos' and grinning, while I just rubbed her back. She turned over, so I started rubbing her belly. Without missing a beat she said,

"I got a baby in my belly."

"You do?" I asked.

"Yep, there's a baby in der."

"Ohhh, I see."

"Daddy has a baby in her belly too."

"You mean his belly?"

"Yes. Daddy has a baby in her belly too."

"He's gonna be thrilled to hear this."

She's beginning to be enchanted by the idea. This is my 'pregnant' toddler.

birthing...
a cantaloupe!

I just can't fathom another baby. - what they will look like or act like. Today I was looking at a few picts from when Belle was a little baby, and my heart just ached cause she is growing up so fast!

ejk

Monday Morning nugget of goodness

I've been raving about this site since I found it. In case you've missed my accolades, I want to share it with you this March Monday morning:

www.pandora.com

Here's the deal. It's customized, free, Internet radio. You type in the name of an artist or song you like, and the site creates a station that hand chooses artists that mirror that style based on the music genome project. Each song that plays you can give a "thumbs up" or "thumbs down". The ones you like, it will adjust and find more songs like it. The ones you don't, you'll never hear them again! Pretty sweet, if you ask me.

You can create as many stations as you want, and if you don't want to hear a particular song, you can skip to the next one. Another cool benefit is you get to hear tons of new/up & coming artists you may never have heard of & that aren't played in the cliquely, watered down garbage you hear on mainstream stations.

So spice up your Monday & give it a listen.

And just in case you're curious, here are a few of our stations:
1. Phil Wickham
2. Damien Rice
3. Rufus Wainwright
4. Amos Lee
5. Taking Back Sunday
6. The Fray
Just to name a few.
Try it out and drop us a comment to tell us how you like it...also let us know if you find any great artists/or stations to share!
much love
ejk

Ordination Review

One week ago on March 1, 2009 I was set apart for the ministry of Christ at Macomb Christian Church. It was such a special time, Erica said it was the #3 best day of our lives together after our Wedding and Belle being born. I agree, although I can't help but wonder once our next kid is born if the Ordination will drop to #4 or if we're just going by chronological order. I digress... here are some highlights of the evening:

The worship band led by Denise led us in some songs, including one of my all-time favorite worship songs "Take My Life" by Chris Tomlin (this is the hymn remake from the Passion "Hymns" album; we also had it played at our wedding).

I shared the journey God has led me on to bring me to this point. I came to the same conclusion as John the Baptist in John 3: "he must become greater. I must become less". That's really what this whole night was about; me becoming less and submitting myself so fully to Christ that everything I am and do glorify him. Even Jesus did not come to glorify himself, but to glorify the Father (Phillipians 2:1-8).

The elders, Andy, and Mike Edmisten laying their hands on me and praying. Why no one went for the prime real estate of my head I'll never know, but this was a special time none-the-less.

Me and my better half/partner in crime, oops, I mean ministry :) . She makes me look so good!

The fam came up to share in this special occasion (we celebrated my birthday, too!). My parents, Erica's parents w/Chloe, and the Woollard clan came up for the weekend.

So that's the basic gist. It was so special, but as I shared with everyone that night, it is a little bittersweet as well. To know that I'm completely laying aside all of my ambitions, hopes, and plans has been hard. John Eldredge writes in his book "Walking With God" (which I highly recommend):

"I want two things that are mutually opposed-- I want to live a nice little life, and I want to play an important role in God's kingdom."

To consider the cost of following Christ, let alone being a minister, leaves no room for us to want things our way--to have our cake and eat it too. We must submit completely, wholly, whole-heartedly to the will of God. As Job said "though he slay me, yet will I hope in him." So we must be willing to stake our very lives on following him. This is true for the "common" believer as well, not just the "minister".

This is taking up your cross to follow Christ (as Jesus instructed all followers must do), and just as Jesus struggled with his journey to the cross when he was in the garden, so I have struggled with this calling. As Jesus asked the Father, "if there's any other way, take this cup from me, yet not my will but yours be done"; so I have struggled with committing my life to ministry in the Church. But God has shown me this is his will, and I will gladly lay down my life, but, as Christ also said, "only to take it up again."

I praise the Living God for his grace to me, and I hope that I might walk daily in obedience to him as I lead his people and administer the gospel of grace. Amen.

APK

Happy 25th Birthday - a day late!

In honor of Aron's 25th birthday, here are 25 random facts about the birthday boy. Enjoy!

25. At our cousins, Josh & Kim's wedding, Aron & the other groomsmen came parading out as the village people & led the whole party in "YMCA". It was pretty hysterical.24. As a child (and dare I say grown-up) Aron & his brother, Ben, would wait until everyone went to bed and slit the tape to peek at their Christmas gifts. Then they'd carefully tape the packages back together so mom & dad wouldn't know they'd been naughty.23. He craves the outdoors. Given the choice between a night on the town & a 5 star dinner or a night around the campfire sleeping between the hard ground and the vast starry sky, he'd choose the latter - hands down.22. He's quite the daredevil (that's him in the orange jumping & then flipping off a cliff in a cenote in a Mexican jungle). As a child he & his cousins would cut vines that were entangled in treetops in the woods and make vine-swings. He broke his nose participating in this activity.(this is him cutting down a vine to make a swing)21. Yet this daredevil seemed to have lost his nerve when it came time to deliver our first baby. When the discussion arose, he vehemently refused to cut the umbilical cord as this was repulsive to him. However, in the heat of the moment, Dr. Rojas handed the scissors to Aron & said, "Cut. Here". He caved under the pressure!

20. To Aron, there is no food like chocolate food. And his momma's Texas Sheet Cake tops his list of favorites. He has been known to eat half the cake in one sitting.
19. Aron excels at any sport he tries and can play any instrument within 1 hr of picking it up. I know, very frustrating for the rest of us.18. As a fifteen year old, Aron told me "One day, I'm gonna marry you." Turns out he was right.17. When Belle was a newborn, Aron's favorite time was "skin to skin" time. They'd cuddle under a blanket just her soft skin against his bare chest. They say this is great for newborns, but judging from Aron's reaction, I think its even better for daddies.
16. To my humiliation, Aron sported a "Fu Manchu" for a few weeks in college.
15. And was so sweet as to sport it to my nursing pinning.
14. He also sported a lip ring, which he still wears now & then to feel tough.
13. Now, however, nothing makes him feel tougher than his newly acquired title of "Reverend". 12. He & his college roommate, Jeremiah, found a dead raccoon that they strategically tied behind their prankster friend's car.
11. He loves to hike, and this is one of his favorite spots where we're from in Southern Ohio: Buzzards Roost.10. A man of many talents: every once in a while he'll trim my hair for me to save me the hassle of going to the salon.
9. Whenever he ventures into nature, you can bet he's got a hatchet or a knife or multiple weapons around his waist. His cousin Josh is the same way. These boys are wild at heart...pardon the pun.

8. He has written over 5o songs. A few of which he's had the privilege of playing at friends' weddings.
7. From what I've been told, Aron was quite the entertainer as a child. I'm sure you can figure out which one is him, but in case you're having trouble, bottom row, 4th child from the left.

6. The summer before we married, he traveled in a worship band all over the country. This is in Maryland; after boating on Chesapeake Bay, they pulled the boat up to a bayside restaurant and enjoyed freshly caught crab.5. If its Halloween & Aron's dressing up, you can bet he'll be sporting man-tights in some fashion.
4. His favorite time of day is in the cool of the evening when the sun begins to forfeit its light. He loves to take his guitar outside and sing at the top of his lungs into the amber sky.
3. His ideal vacation is anywhere on the beach where he can boogie-board and play football in the waves.2. He's a very lucky guy at Cincinnati Reds games. He once caught a homerun ball & made it on the ESPN highlights of the game. Another time he & his buddies Ben & Jerod were featured on the big screen during an inning change. 1. Aron used to love to play a game in college & high school called, "Imagine If...". We would dream up circumstances and scenarios our lives together might bring...someday. We would talk of normal things like a home together and what our children might look like. And we would dream of impossible things like owning a huge farm which we would name "Kirk Haven" or being on tour. Our life may not look exactly like the perfect future we envisioned, but I can't imagine a more perfect reality than our life together just as it is. Happy 25th birthday, baby! I can't wait to live life along side of you another year!
ejk

15 weeks

I lost week 14 in the flurry of activity preparing for our big weekend, but there's plenty to share about our 15th week to make up for it!

Little love is 4 inches or so - the size of an apple. Yesterday I had a first for this pregnancy. In the morning upon waking, my tummy has a hard ball shifted either to the left or right (depending on the side upon which I awake) while the other side remains flat. I remember how strange this was when I first experienced this with Belle, but this time I am just thrilled to be able to feel that little ball and know its my baby. And I am so excited to be feeling the baby moving already!

What a phenominal process this is! I told Aron I feel bad for him that he doesn't get to experience it. He laughed at me. Apparently he has no desire to experience what it is like to grow a baby inside of you - especially come birthing time. I suppose that is why God "made them male and female".

Belle is still very confused believing the baby is in her belly. I am so excited for her to feel the baby move. What a sacred gift the family is to humanity! There is nothing in all the universe like it. I sat on the couch this morning holding my two year old, breathing in her scent and rubbing her skin, and soaking in the reality of her brother or sister just beside her. The richness of that moment was overwhelming, and I could not ask for anything more. It is so easy to become distracted by the things of this world that I give my heart over to, but I realized those longings pale in comparison to the life I am able to participate in on a daily basis.

ejk

So what's with that sign anyway?

Someone was inquiring about the sign we have hanging just as you enter our condo, and as I was explaining the story behind it, I realized we've never really shared it with you. Since we titled our blog after this idea, it makes since to tell the story here.

Just after we first married, we were jointly passionate about the sacredness of this new home we were creating, and we wanted to be very intentional about the way we viewed our home. Aron & I are both idealists (probably to a fault) but we wholeheartedly believe that the home is absolutely a sacred place. It is the one domain in which we have been given the authority to allow the Kingdom of God and the authority of Christ to be manifest in its intended glory in a way we cannot do at work or school or other social settings.

We desired our home to first of all be our haven. Our safe place among all the forces of evil and all that seeks to steal, kill, and destroy in this world. A place where we know above all else we are delighted in and may find rest in this place and restoration for our weary bodies and souls.

Secondly, we established that our home would be our "ministry headquarters" (this was long before Aron ever felt called into the ministry); meaning our home would be a place not only for our own restoration but a haven for others as well. We hope and pray that all who enter our home will feel the love of Christ in a way that is tangible - almost as if they can breathe it in or taste it. That they may know and understand they are indeed delighted over. When I tell people I am passionate about hospitality, I think they get the idea of a "Martha Stewart-esk passion". While I enjoy Martha's creativity, its more of the ministry headquarters idea that stirs me.

Thirdly, we wanted our home to be a place of inspiration of all sorts. A space where ideas are abounding and creativity is flowing. A place where music is in the air and poetry is on our hearts. Where our souls encounter the worlds needs and we are inspired to act. Inspired to dare to dream the impossible.

Idealistic? Absolutely. But something we must be continually mindful to strive toward. That's why we hung a giant black and white sign to remind us of our goal. Because we know that wherever Christ is head and His kingdom is being lived out, the enemy attacks and seeks to bring disorder and chaos.

Do we fall short of these ideals? Probably daily. But its important to remind ourselves of these things from time to time as the busyness of life tends to force us into a rut of routine and monotony. In Deuteronomy, the Israelites are instructed to love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, and strength, and to adorn the commandments they were given upon their hearts, to impress them upon their children, to talk about them all through their days, and to even write them on the door frames of their houses and the gates that guard their homes. So that is what we did, in a sense, by writing out the mission statement of our home in way we would be constantly reminded to honor.
ejk

quick randomness

1. I am so desperate for spring I could not take one more day of that snowy scene - adios snowflakes!

2. My jeans are way tighter than I am comfortable with this week.

3. I am too stubborn to buy more knowing they too won't fit soon.

4. Hence, I am very thankful for leggings being "in" during this pregnancy.

5. I am also very thankful for the prayers and encouragement on my behalf. Like I said, healing often hurts...but its a good hurt. A cleansing hurt. God's mercies are new everyday. Thank you for helping to bring healing by your kind words.

humbly,
ejk

13 weeks

I am officially me - I now have fingerprints unlike anyone who has ever existed. God is knitting and weaving and creating a unique expression of His glory in me! A bit of my daddy, a hint of great, great grandma, a piece of mom, a splash of aunt, a dollop of personality - day by day. I cannot wait for you to see his craftsmanship. I am growing - 3 inches now! I can feel when someone presses on your belly, mommy & I squirm away. Please tell Belle to be careful - she's stepped on me a few times. And mom, I really like the chocolate - so keep it coming please! And tell my daddy & sissy I really like those songs they sing. Talk to you next week! ejk

2 year old brilliance at work

We NEVER buy oreos, because they magically vanish from our cabinents soon after bringing them home. This is the first time we've had them since we moved to Michigan. This is what happens when you give our 2 year old an oreo for a bedtime snack:It didn't take her long to figure out how to get to the good stuff. She left the wafers just this way sitting on the table wanting nothing more to do with them. Neither Aron or I eat our oreos this way - she figured it out on her own. She has her daddy's taste buds and her mommy's brains! (he he)
ejk

healing is often a painful process

Seems counterintuitive, doesn't it? I mean, if you're healing, you're getting better, right? But in matters of body and in soul, often the process of healing a gaping hole in your heart is more painful than simply living with a gaping hole in your heart.

We can bury these wounded areas under years of justification and attempts at making it right on our own. We can numb them with quick fixes. But it never lasts. And before long, we start to see the world through the lens of our woundedness. We grapple to control the frustration, the internal conflict, to stuff the emotions and control the wave of hurt.

I say "we", but what I guess I mean is "I".

I long to be authentic and vulnerable. That is why I share this struggle. In hope that you who know me will better know how to pray for me. In hope that you who don't know me, will see the complete picture of what God is doing in me - the ugly and the pretty.

So today I've been undergoing the painful process of healing. Day after day God has been using circumstances to bring to the surface major heartaches that I have not dealt with properly. I think he is doing this because he sees the damage I am doing trying to fill the void on my own. That and he's like the master restorer and can't imagine his kids walking around all dysfunctional and broken when he knows the remedy. And he sees the life that is possible when we are whole.

So, while flipping through a notebook searching for a page to write out my prayers today, I read this poem Aron wrote almost 4 years ago. I think God gave it to him for me, today. You see, I've been battling feelings of abandonment, feelings like, no one really cares. Feelings of being excluded or left out. Feeling forgotten. Not always, just when the moment strikes, and my heart begins to bleed. And those feelings, left to settle in and take root, grow bitterness and resentment. So I needed what Aron had to say:

Don't let the past turn you heart to steel
And steal the last hope of joy you could feel.
The cold of another's shoulder
Jades your heart with ice.
Forgiveness in the hand of beholder
Resolves to act on love's advice.

Who are you? What are we?
Where to find identity.
In the hand of a man or the hand of a god or
in the hand of the God of Man of God

A poisoned heart; a poison within
A house divided cannot defend.
Hope is lost on the wake of the wind
A million to one - foes to the friend.
Only a choice can make it relent.
Choose to love - till it makes you sick.
Heap those coals on stranger or kin
Watch it cover a multitude of sin.

ejk