restored

It never stops surprising me the way God gives us just what we need when we need it most. He is a good father, as Jesus describes him. Infact, we can call him the most good father - knowing that we who are earthly and wicked desire good things for our children, how much more a Being of infinite love desires to give us good things. Yet, every parent knows that our love for our children may be manifested in many different forms. Sometimes it is gifts, provision, joy. However, sometimes we will not be loving them if we withhold discipline or teaching that is vital to transforming them into the best "them" they can be. Often it requires years removed from situations and a fresh set of eyes to see the true love of a parent. I often forget this about God as I wonder about His involvement in the circumstances of my life.

Anyway, I needed to be loved this morning, and Jesus gave me a very special moment in communion of simple, undeserved outpouring of His love. To be honest, I frequently struggle at this time in our 'service' through the routine of it and the awkwardness of a tradition that is being used outside of its original cultural context...I struggle to connect or to find deep meaning each time. Today, I just sat and listened, and I can describe it no other way than Jesus pouring his love over me in a way I could hear and understand. I am so grateful for this gift - I really needed to hear Him say He loves me.

And Aron's message so hit the spot. I hope to be able to post a link to a video of it later in the week. He spoke about taking our eyes off of our circumstances and fixing them on Jesus so that we can run the race God has called us each to no matter what is going on in our lives. I could blog all week on what I gleaned from today, but I'll keep today's as brief as possible.

And after church I was able to connect with some wonderful friends. The conversations were short, but they were meaningful, and I felt blessed to know a people who love God so deeply. As I arrived home I saw a few comments made regarding last night's outpouring of my heart...and again, I was so grateful for the love both from family and friends. 

Aron grilled some salmon while I prepared the rest of lunch, and the simple joy of being a family filled my heart. Now Aron and Belle are napping, I am curled on the couch preparing to read some of 'Fathered by God'. 

Thanks to everyone for your love and prayers. 

humbly,

ejk

heart wide open

I'm standing in the kitchen checking email before bed. My heart is a whirl of emotion. I simultaneously feel longing and contentment, frustration and peace, sadness and joy.

As the time draws very near for baby to be here, so does the stark awareness in my heart that we are doing this alone (and by that, I mean, for the most part, our families will be distant by-standers, only knowing our child through photos and videos.) This is very hard for me, and I struggle to fight the tears and disappointment. Even as I feel this, my heart knows that God is in control. That He sees the big picture, and that as his child I must trust. And as a third angle, I wrestle with guilt for not being content with the abundant blessings He has given, and longing for more. How could I ask for more?

As I typed the above...Aron saw my tears on his way to bed, and asked if I want to talk.  I let him read what I have begun to blog above, and say no more...(I don't have to explain...he understands). So Aron asks if I want to pray. I cannot right now, the words get caught in my throat and I only cry. But he intercedes for us both, and it is healing. We pause for a moment to marvel at baby boy pushing his rear-end up high in the air manifesting in a large protruding bump in the upper left of my abdomen. Aron pats his little round bottom, and baby moves left. We giggle, then off to bed Aron went. He wants to get plenty of rest before speaking 2 services tomorrow. So now I am resuming this moment of reflection...

I said earlier my heart is a whirlwind of emotion...and not all sad by far. I stand staring at this lovely vase of Queen Anne's Lace. Some say it is a weed. I think the flower is breathtaking. Aron knows this, and he went to the field behind our condo and brought back a bouquet earlier in the evening. I feel loved and known as I consider this.

And I cherish a moment that transpired as we were putting Belle down for the night. We let her choose 2 stories to read from her bookshelf every night as bedtime routine. Tonight she had already made her selections and was waiting for us in her bed with books in hand. Seeing what she had choosen, I exclaim, "Look, Daddy! She's chosen her Big Sister book to read...what a great choice!" 

Aron asked her,"Belle, are you so excited to be a big sister?"

Her face beamed as she stood up on the bed, threw her hands up, and began jumping as she chanted, "A big sister, a baby brother, a baby brother!! I'm so happy! I'm so happy! I'm so happy!" She met a newborn baby boy today, and really wanted him to be her baby brother. She cannot wait to kiss his toes. This too brings so much joy to my spirit.

So I say all of this only to express the reality of what is going on in my heart. No editing. Just real. I am off to bed myself, 'in quietness and trust' - to quote aron's favorite scripture. 

much love

ejk

Mini Triathalon

So in case you didn't know, I've been training for a mini triathalon with a bunch of people from church. It was put on up at Barnes Lake, about an hour north of us, by another church group, and all proceeds went to benefit a Haiti Mission Fund for this church. There was something special about 3 months of hard training coming to a crescendo. Here's the play-by-play:

Pre-race: Don't mistake kindness and an easy nature for weakness--a competitive beast lies within!!!

The crew from MCC, hopes are high before the grueling trek.

Brolan, flexing the guns. Unfortunately, this isn't a gun show,  it's a race! All that lead might slow you down.

Yeah, that's me, 31st out of the water (out of 35 contestants) after 8:49 for the 300Meter swiim!!! But at least I didn't drown, right?

Transition #1, swimming to bike. At this point, I know I gotta make up time. I'm planning on making it burn for the whole 13.4 miles.

The whole bike ride, there was someone right in front of me, which was a great thing. I kept telling myself, "Just pass the person in front of you." It really helped to keep me giving my all, even when I wanted to ease up. That strategy paid off, and my bike time was 16th best overall, considerably better than my swim, with a time of 55:48.

My run was what kept me competitive. I ran the 3.4 miles in 25:49, which was 5th best overall, being just over a 7 1/2 minute per mile pace. Usually I can adjust my pace throughout the run, but I was so wiped from the bike (which was my fastest time ever for that distance), I was just trying to keep my body in motion. 

I ended up ending 10th place overall with a final time of 1 hour, 30 minutes and 26 seconds, which surprised me given my swim and average bike. It was a great feeling to finish--the cheering gauntlet, Erica and Isabelle's smiling faces to greet me, knowing I'd left it ALL on the course, the sense of accomplishment, the honor, the glory... oh, and the best thing about finishing-- WATER!!! On my head, in my mouth, I could drink for days--glorious water. Reminds me of a 70's classic rock song, "give me some water, cause i shot a man on the Mexican border, cool cool water." 

I must say, looking back on the race is a lot more enjoyable than the actual (excruciating) moments within the race. Ecclesiastes 7:8 says, "The end of a matter is better than its beginning..." Indeed, Solomon, indeed. It was fun training for this triathalon, but man was I glad when I crossed that finish line. 

APK 

scandalous Jesus

You know the story. Infact, you probably know it very well, but it struck me this morning as I read in John of Jesus' encounter with the woman with less than reputable character at the well.

This must be brief...because I'm leaving for work in a few moments, but I needed to process this, so here goes:

The story screams of the heart of God to restore the human heart to it intended wholeness. The cool part, is the lengths Jesus went to find the broken.

Jesus was withdrawing from Judea to Galilee after he and his disciples were getting a little too much press for baptizing in that region. Most Jews of his day (ie...the notable religious folk) traveled a broad U out of their way to miss the entire region of Samaria, for therein resided people of questionable background and impure lives. For you Detroiters...think taking 94 or 75 or something to miss the 8 mile area...hey, I've done it a hundred times going to work. Not Jesus, though. No, he scandalously marches straight into the hood.

Then he starts up a convo with a woman...alone. The passage says the disciples kinda walked in at the end of the exchange, and were surprised to find Jesus talking to a woman.  I can imagine the disciples thoughts, "Think of the implications? You...this woman, here, alone. Come 'on man, this woman gets around (5 husbands and counting)...and you are the leader of a religious movement, Jesus?! Someone could accuse you of ...you know...with this woman, and your credibility is shot. Your movement is dead. There is too much at stake."

There was indeed much at stake: the heart of a woman looking for love in all the wrong the places...and Jesus was willing go to all the "wrong places" to restore it. Scandalous.

Feeling there are places in your heart no God could possible want to go? Jesus will march right in and stir things up if you'll go there with him.

Or are you playing it safe walking the high road? Maybe pray that God will lead you into the questionable places to meet less than reputable people in your journey today.

I can say yes to both questions...there are places in my heart that only Jesus can tackle, and I definitely play it safe as a rule. I want to be scandalous in my love today, Jesus.

ejk 

Futbol fever

Belle vs. Daddy

It was a grueling match, but after 90 minutes of play, the count was still knotted at nil. Here is the exciting PK finish...

A heartbreaker for Daddy, and a well placed nutmeg for Belle! What a finish!

APK

woah...tipped the scales today at the doctor! 3 lbs since last week. Dr. Valice was very, very pleased. 34 cm @ 36 weeks..."You're measuring a little small, but you're consistent...and you're steadily growing. So I'm happy," he said to me.

I was happy too. Then he freaked me out.

"After next week, we welcome baby anytime." Full term in one week??? There is so much yet to do! 

So Aron & I met for lunch, taking full advantage of BW3's free wing Tuesday (and any opportunity to hang out mid-day), and while we were eating I threw out the question,

"So say baby did come this time next week, what would you name him if it were 100% up to you?"

"I honestly have no idea," he replied after contemplating the question.

I'm in the same boat. We have a ton of names we like, but nothing has stuck.

One thing is for sure though, we CANNOT wait to meet this little love.

I have framed his little foot, and as I pass by it throughout the day, I just marvel at how perfect and beautiful it is. It seems incomprehensible that in a few short weeks, I'll be able to kiss those little toes!

friday night around these parts...

We spent the entire day car shopping with nothing to show for it. We had some good laughs as we puttered along in our Civy - whose health is fading quickly. Aron likened the noises coming from her to the "death rattle"...I'm pretty sure he's right. 

Anyway, after sweating all day in that hot car, we are just chillin tonight doing not much of anything. Which is absolutely perfect.

(notice she even plays guitar as a lefty? its going to challange aron to teach her guitar backwards!!)

ejk

Kirk Haven Cafe

Grab a cup of coffee, kick up your feet, and enjoy..

Our little Artiste

Belle absolutely floored us with her drawing ability yesterday.  I was cleaning and trying to keep her busy, so I gave her a pen and paper to help entertain her. A few minutes later she came running up to show me her creation: (you can click on the picture and it will open up full size to get the optimal effect of the graphic detail...)

I mean, they may only be stick people, but we're talking about a 2 1/2 year old here, friends. I could be naive, but I thought a two year old is doing awesome to hold a crayon the correct way and scribble in circles. This girl is already attempting to master size proportion and and bodily shapes. Besides, a few weeks ago she couldn't even draw a circle. 

She loves to watch a show called "Harold and the Purple Crayon" (if you have preschoolers, we highly recommend it...watch it free @ www.hulu.com & search the Title), and her favorite episode is Harold the Artiste. After seeing this Harold, she is constantly drawing and asking to paint. Our little Lefty may be a right brained artist after all. We shall see...

a proud chubby stick person,

ejk

what's been a going on...

Aron's still training for the sprint triathlon in a little over a week, so we headed out to Stoney Creek so he could get a swimming workout in. That's his little head in the bottom left swimming laps (he says that's him drowning in the bottom left...he drank quite a bit of lake water today).As always, Belle couldn't wait to get to the beach. She loves playing in the sand. But she sure does get lonely playing by herself.

She was pumped when daddy was finally done with his workout, so he could take her out in the water.

Saturday night we visited the one and only Erma's Custard shop as a treat after working hard around the house ALL DAY. It turns out Aron LOVES Bavarian Cheesecake Custard...after 2 cones, he jumped in line for a 3rd..."Its the triple threat, Hun." I talked him down from the 3rd cone only by promising we'd return again Sunday before the flavor changed on Monday. So we did.
Then Monday night we wanted to get out of the house, so we headed over to watch the guys in our small group play softball in the local league. We were too late for the game. Turns out the Kneppers were too. So we decided Erma's custard would be the perfect solution. The Abbots joined us, but before we left a skeptical Rocky wanted to know if it could possibly be better than Maggie Moo's...puh-lease!
Even the kids know Erma's is the best frozen treat one could imagine.

Even with 3 nights of frozen custard I was disappointed to discover I'd lost about a pound this week. I was really shook up and worried after getting off the scale at my appointment today. When the midwife came in and asked how I was doing, I could feel myself start to choke up. Rather than risk awkwardness, I just warned her, "Well I'm feeling like I might cry because I lost weight this week and I'm afraid the baby isn't growing." 

From the corner of the room little Belle speaks up, "It's okay, Mommy. Don't cry. I will hold your hand so you are not afraid." So sweet, my little nurturer.

The midwife was actually quite happy with my progress as my tummy was measuring 2-3 cm bigger than last week (I was at 33 1/2 cm...@ 35 weeks...well within normal limits).

She wants me to try to eat 100 g of protein a day (enough to feed a football player, i'm sure), dairy, & iron...and she specifically suggested milkshakes. Problem is, the ice cream has been giving me tummy aches. So I guess I'll stick with the meat.

That's all for tonight, though quite enough as you've gotten an earful already.

much love,

ejk