Heartbroken
One evening while in Uganda in March I was standing outside the guesthouse at Sanyu babies home praying. I was heavy hearted and just needed to have some alone time and rest in His presence. It was about 9pm and all of the sudden I heard 2 screaming, terrified babies outside the gate. It was a sound I still can’t forget. The next thing I knew the guards at the orphanage opened the gate and the administrator went rushing down to pick up two abandoned babies. The administrator turned to me and yelled for me to come help. I ran to her side and scooped one of the babies, around 1 year old, into my arms. I have never seen such fear in a child’s eyes. It was devastating. It was heartbreaking. I bawled my eyes out and was nearly paralyzed by the thought of what these kids were feeling. How does it feel to be dropped off in the middle of the street and to watch the person who dropped you off walk away? Their little bodies trembled. They could hardly eat. They screamed while we gave them a bath. Those first moments with those beautiful children will be imprinted in my mind forever.
For days they cried nonstop. It was as if they were heartbroken.
Heartbroken to be abandoned.
Heartbroken to have to figure out life all by themselves.
Can you even imagine?
I sit here now, in my bed, with my son in the next room peacefully sleeping. He, like those beautiful babies, was abandoned himself. He most likely experienced those same feelings. When we met him last October he was emotionless and heartbroken himself. He is a different boy now. He is happy and is on his way to healthy.
34% of Christian families consider adopting and only 1 % of Christian families actually do.
Why do so many of us Christian’s let fear stop us from adopting? Why do we let the “what if’s” and “how’s” get in the way?
I am thankful that last August after asking God and my husband dozens of times if “they were sure” we should adopt that my husband lovingly said to me, “Do you trust the Lord? Do you trust me?”
It was the best wake up call I have ever received.
Yes. I trusted the Lord. Yes, I trusted my husband.
I had to stop trying to figure it out myself…
and let the Lord do the work.
And boy did He!
I have experienced the best 9 months of my life. I have watched my girls draw closer to the Lord in prayer because of their brother. They have watched the Lord answer prayer before their very eyes. They have witnessed a miracles in their brother coming home! They now see that God’s plan, though sometimes hard, is perfect! I now trust Him with all my heart and I love Him more than I ever have before. My father was saved and baptized this year while in Uganda with me from January to March! Now, Nathan and I have the most beautiful, loving, little boy!
What would have happened if I would have kept putting off the Lord?
It is my prayer that if you are reading this and have felt a tug from the Lord on your heart to adopt that you will just simply say “Yes, Lord!” I pray that you will stop asking Him over and over if “He is sure” and just trust Him! He will supply all of Your needs! He will bless you until you overflow! Your life will never be the same!
…“Once our eyes are opened, we can’t pretend we don’t know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.” (Proverbs 24:12)
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