Prayer for the war-torn heart

*I wrote this weeks ago in a moment of heartache. I find myself returning to it from time to time when I feel my heart despair.

I hope it encourages you as you cast yourself upon Him.

Father,

Fight for my heart; because I don't know how to defend it just now.

Jesus, you were "rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering".

I don't even begin to understand the devastation you walked through on my behalf.

And yet you call me friend.

Like a war-torn child who knows nothing of the battles of his people -

But only that he hurts, he hungers, he grieves.

So it seems my heart is in this place.

I don't understand it, I can't articulate it.

I know only that I bleed.

I can tell you of the symptom, please take me to the source.

I know you see my tears,

Even as my soul claws at the dirt, searching for an explanation.

Be my Answer.

My resounding, "Yes!"

Father, may my heart find its home in You tonight.

More than that. Every moment.

And even as I have uttered these words,

I sense You draw near.

Your spirit comforting mine

in a language angels long to know.

Protect me from the evil one,

From his utterances of deception

which my heart is so inclined to embrace.

Protect me from myself.

My pride, my instincts to 'self-protect'-

a suicide potion for the living soul.

Tonight I chose to trust,

when my heart screams 'Withdrawl!'

I chose to rest in you,

As you go to battle for me.

A beautiful injustice, indeed.

ejk