I told you how I teared up in the card aisle, not just once, and not over sentiment. No, in frustration my soul ached and my heart beat heavy lifting and returning each card to its alloted space. Our anniversary came and went and though my hand held no card for you, there is so much I wanted to say. You laughed at me, still searching for the perfect card days past our cherished date. Defeated time and again, I have come to the conclusion that Hallmark is lame-o, and that there isn't a card out there worthy of you.
What card can explain the way you come to me, so proud and so broken up over the wedding song you just wrote our 4 month old. And as you pick and it pours out, the way we get all messy and unglued, your voice breaking "Unchain my heart and take his hand, o-o-o I'm a gonna cry." We create side by side, the rest of the night meandering in and out of tears as you wittle it down to just right. Our hearts go somewhere together, a place only we two can understand, our experiences paint the landscape, and He meets us there, complete.
What card can describe your faithful heart, the nights bowed in humility, the ugly confessed and the clothing with righteousness. Your steadfast love, even in my dark places - the self absorbed and the sickness - you followed me there, refused to let me die, breathing hope into my lungs. He taught you how to fight; you showed me I was worth the pain. We promised each other grace, 7 years ago, and how we did not understand it that day. Even now, we are learning it, becoming it.
And surely no card can tell of your courageous soul, your bravery. How you lead our family in chasing the Spirit. Your abandon, your resolve. How you lay down dreams and take up your cross, and you count it all joy.
And the way you make us laugh. I have never met a man so wild, so pure. You play like a child, and we can't resist your beckoning toward joy. Your children think you a King, and rightly so. But can I let you in on a little secret? Even as she chides you over the obscene amount of ice cream you consume and begs you to be serious for a second and pay her attention, your wife knows her children are right.
Our David. He has called you beloved and He has called you son, and He has ushered you in to His court, crowned you with His name and given you this tiny little kingdom called 'our home'. And even now enlarging your influence, sending you out to bring back wayward sons and daughters. And I see His hand upon you, and I need you to know
I would follow you anywhere.
This next year of our journey, I am asking God for so much. I know it won't be easy, I know it will cost us much. But our Jesus, His glory is worth it. And you, you are ready. I have watched God lovingly call you out, prune you back so far and so deep I wondered if you'd ever recover. But He cuts with wisdom and love, and your branch abiding is now strong and healthy, bearing good fruit, to the glory of God.
Next year I'm going to start my card hunt earlier. Or maybe, like you, I'll look for one with a spoon and a fork and an off color joke to set the mood so wrong its right. I wouldn't have it any other way.