a little thursday chuckle

You may not have time (or desire) to watch the full clip, but minutes 1:00-2:something are pretty rich. We stay entertained.

large from Aron Kirk on Vimeo.

of concrete and kingdom

I waivered between the $2.00 plain jane strawberries and their $3.00 more holy organic cousins; what is a dollar worth to me? What is the weight of pesticides and pennies? This must be why grocery shopping takes me the better part of three hours and I return home to a husband in disbelief it requires an entire evening to bring home our daily bread. My sniffing of strawberries and calculating of risk and benefits were interrupted by Judah,
"Mama, when's God gonna get out of our bellies?"
Truthfully, I ignored the question at first. The strawberries smelled sweet; they'd be great in Belle's lunch. Which to chose, which to chose.
He persisted, "MAMA! When is God going to get out of our bellies? He's in peoples' hearts. When is he going to get out of our bellies?!"

I'm pretty sure he's confused and has mixed his preschool systematic theology with his recent experiences of an invisible baby grown to maturity and exiting out of his 'mama's belly'.

We walk on toward the check out and I try to explain how God lives within us but he's in heaven and yet near anytime we call on him...and yes, in our hearts too. Everywhere.

I load produce and nuts and discounted meat atop the conveyer. Judah grabs a cooking magazine and sits in the middle of the aisle, leafing through recipes, licking his lips.

He asks for a penny to ride the pony, and by golly I found a lucky one just for him. I tell him we'll go together, soon as I pay, but he's my instant gratification child, the one who'd eat the marshmallow now despite being promised two later if only he'd wait (have you heard of that study?). He danced and waited an eternity of ten seconds before running full speed, mounting "Butterscotch LaLu" without my help (just a few months ago he was timid of this creature), inserting penny, and pressing go. I scribbled my signature without even looking, eagle eyes across the store on my boy, all guns and glory atop that pony.

We find our car and mean to find our way home, and in the madness of loading babies and bags of groceries, I left Judah unharnessed. Judah proudly announces he loves riding like this, no straps and free. We cross an eight lane highway and I dart instructions to strap himself in, right this minute. He explains how much he likes his riding without 'stwaps', and I return with threats of car crashes and him flying out of the vehicle if he's not strapped down to it.
He ponders for a moment and sweet as pumpkin pie reassures me, "Its okay mommy. I can't fly out of the car because I don't have any wings."

All of these conversations and I marvel at how abstract we speak and how concrete we live. My child calls me out on it. And I wonder more on how we approach this unseen kingdom through metaphors and ideas and there in Matthew Jesus' words of changing and becoming like a child, humble and trusting, if ever we are to enter the kingdom of heaven.

I feel like I'm close to something, some revelation for today. Today as I've already cried, just a little bit, over feeling frustrated with this walking by faith, but knowing there is no other way but the narrow path for us, because of the One leading us on it. Some days the woman in me just longs for a little concrete to sink my feet into, anchor down tight my world which feels so floaty up in the air. My frustration isn't in the path itself, but in this feeling of lack of control, as we prepare to pack up our lives and seek first the kingdom, resolving to take Jesus at his word that our Father knows we need food and clothing and shelter, why worry over these things. We seek first the kingdom, both in the abstract and in the concrete, and He supplies all these things. These concrete things. Some days it just seems easier to have a sign-on-the-dotted-line kind of job that will pack you up and pay for your move (or two if you're us) and benefits to boot. But I am reminded that Jesus and his disciples never really pursued an easy life. They did however, pursue an obedient one, a purpose-filled one, a life with clay feet firmly planted on earth but spirit eyes ever seeing the prize.

Because one very real day, God the Father, the Great I Am, will be out of our hearts and before our very eyes. Face to face. We will know him no longer in the abstract, but the concrete.

My three year old understands this, and oh how often I miss it. I pray for more faith, childlike and humble, help in my unbelief, and I repent of my loyalties toward my old masters of comfort and security. I want to live a life worthy of his name, want to live the faith of which I so easily speak.

I place the three dollar organic strawberries in the crisper, and a peace settles down over my heart. Jesus, the fullness of God, who made the abstract so concrete for us, leads.
And for today, he fills me with strength and faith and courage to press on.
ejk

Be of Good Faith

amen and glory.
ejk

Superkiddos Save The Day!

Super Saturday - Large from Aron Kirk on Vimeo.

ordinary extraordinary

My heart engaged today with fresh eyes, though I'm sure it wasn't my own hands which rubbed the haze from them. 

How do I most often miss the extraordinary all around, how do I mistake it for ordinary?

I walked from moment to moment in disbelief, mind bending wonder at the gift of it all.

And suddenly, right in the middle of uncertainty and a September Saturday, joy filled.

 I know this may seem a familiar tune, of moments and gifts and living fully of the present.

But you have to understand...this is not my nature, the striving one.

The girl who works so tirelessly now so she can play later, only later never comes. There's always one more dish to wash, diaper to fold, corner to tidy.

And true fulfillment is forever waiting behind the finish line of the next milestone achieved.

I have so often chased the mirage of 'one day when'.

This daily bread kind of living is...growth.

And to think in my Martha ways I daily take for granted the sweaty, baby head, deep rhythmic breaths cadence to my heart's dancing tune.

I could fill books with His sustaining graces, how He holds us together, His character our peace.

 And there is more still. 

I am growing quite certain that even as each day has enough trouble of its own and in this world, suffering is guaranteed,

even in our pain and unending need,

not one breath is ordinary.

 I pray you will encounter the extraordinary right in the middle of your ordinary,

through the one who came to give life in abundance.

hearts alive,

ejk

"this is a call to all the dead and disappointed"

"your mercy's rising like the sun on the horizon, and we're coming home."

breathe it in, and come alive.
ejk

i should have gotten a philosophy degree

"Will I always be Judah?"

"Why do bad guys do bad things?"

"Do zombies tickle you?"

"What if I be a pigeon?"

"Is a bee always a bee?"

"What happens if I ride on that train. Hey! What happens if I be applesauce?"

"Are God and Jesus best fwiends?"

"When can I be a weal (real) superhero?"

"What happens if I be a church?"

"Will Selah always be Selah?"

"What happens if I be a wheel? And then what would I say?"

"How does the movie-theater-man sleep?"

glory

Tonight we trample down high grass overgrown, escaping to a field.

The evening sky sags heavy with purple, all trimmed out in gold, and we race for a better view.

I remind them again what the Bible says, about the heavens declaring the glory of God.

Belle asks what is glory, and I look to her daddy to answer such a weighty question.

Who can define glory; how can we wrap our minds around it?

I step into golden spotlight; my heart swells, and I laugh with joy at the sight blinding.

I have learned from my Selah.

I ask belle if she can feel it, God's love right in this moment of beauty.

She feels no hugs or kisses concrete and nods confused.

Till her daddy bends down and plants love right on her head.

"I feel that," she smiles.

"Well, that's God's love for you right there. Who do you think puts the love in daddy's heart for you?"

Judah, his warrior heart outdone by the lover within,

scurries about oblivious to all he's missing,

dipping sun glittering all she touches.

We are in a field full of life, every weed a flower for his mama.

Historically (in the car, on a walk, outside a business) with every flower we pass he speaks up

"I wish I could pick those dandelions for mama."

Tonight, he is overwhelmed by sheer volume, and picks feverishly, delivering blossom by blossom.

Clover and queen anne's lace grace my fingertips, never more beautiful.

My hands are heavy with purple, my heart all trimmed out in gold.

And I understand glory.

ejk

you have my heart, to infinity and beyond

you know there's a card for that

I told you how I teared up in the card aisle, not just once, and not over sentiment. No, in frustration my soul ached and my heart beat heavy lifting and returning each card to its alloted space. Our anniversary came and went and though my hand held no card for you, there is so much I wanted to say. You laughed at me, still searching for the perfect card days past our cherished date. Defeated time and again, I have come to the conclusion that Hallmark is lame-o, and that there isn't a card out there worthy of you.

What card can explain the way you come to me, so proud and so broken up over the wedding song you just wrote our 4 month old. And as you pick and it pours out, the way we get all messy and unglued, your voice breaking "Unchain my heart and take his hand, o-o-o I'm a gonna cry." We create side by side, the rest of the night meandering in and out of tears as you wittle it down to just right. Our hearts go somewhere together, a place only we two can understand, our experiences paint the landscape, and He meets us there, complete.

What card can describe your faithful heart, the nights bowed in humility, the ugly confessed and the clothing with righteousness. Your steadfast love, even in my dark places - the self absorbed and the sickness - you followed me there, refused to let me die, breathing hope into my lungs. He taught you how to fight; you showed me I was worth the pain. We promised each other grace, 7 years ago, and how we did not understand it that day. Even now, we are learning it, becoming it.

And surely no card can tell of your courageous soul, your bravery. How you lead our family in chasing the Spirit. Your abandon, your resolve. How you lay down dreams and take up your cross, and you count it all joy.

And the way you make us laugh. I have never met a man so wild, so pure. You play like a child, and we can't resist your beckoning toward joy. Your children think you a King, and rightly so. But can I let you in on a little secret? Even as she chides you over the obscene amount of ice cream you consume and begs you to be serious for a second and pay her attention, your wife knows her children are right.

Our David. He has called you beloved and He has called you son, and He has ushered you in to His court, crowned you with His name and given you this tiny little kingdom called 'our home'. And even now enlarging your influence, sending you out to bring back wayward sons and daughters. And I see His hand upon you, and I need you to know

I would follow you anywhere.

This next year of our journey, I am asking God for so much. I know it won't be easy, I know it will cost us much. But our Jesus, His glory is worth it. And you, you are ready. I have watched God lovingly call you out, prune you back so far and so deep I wondered if you'd ever recover. But He cuts with wisdom and love, and your branch abiding is now strong and healthy, bearing good fruit, to the glory of God.

Next year I'm going to start my card hunt earlier. Or maybe, like you, I'll look for one with a spoon and a fork and an off color joke to set the mood so wrong its right. I wouldn't have it any other way.
(secret work)
ej