2.28.11

Monday mornings lose their bite waking up to these two. I count it a privilege and a dream come true to be able to spend my days caring for our children. Not so many years ago, Aron and I leaned in over steamy cups of McConn perfection spilling our hearts and painting our dreams. And to think the Giver of every good and perfect gift saw fit to pull up a chair, lean in close, and take notice of our beautifully naive hearts. And boy has he given - in abundance. Gifts so breathtakingly complex, so perfectly suited to us. Gratitude overflows.

Judah has fallen in love with Toy Story. Check him out watching Toy Story 2 this afternoon after a nice long nap.

We're closing out February with a quiet day at home, but it has been full of LIFE and blessing.

And I wouldn't trade it for anything the world could offer.

ejk

Eavesdropping

I overheard a tender moment today. I'm scooping it up, tucking it down, and etching it in time for safe keeping.

Aron loves to watch movies. If watching movies side by side in complete and utter concentration were a love language, I would say that were his. But its not. Aron was watching Russell Crowe's Master and Commander this afternoon; I really gave it my best effort to endure through it, but alas I could bear it no more (BOR-ING). Just after my leaving the room, Judah wandered over and joined his daddy - silent, but very attentive. And he stayed that way. I'm convinced its a guy thing.

Out of the silence I hear Aron talking to Judah, "Will you always watch movies with me? Hmm? When you get older, we can watch Last of the Mohicans and The Patriot and Lord of the Rings. We'll watch all kinds of good movies together. Will you be my best friend in a few years? You know, when you get over this whole "Mom-Thing"?

I have a feeling Judah would answer a resounding "Yes!" if he had any idea what his daddy were talking about. But for now, by his daddy's side is right where he wants to be. And I'm pretty sure Aron has found a life long friend (and movie partner) in Judah Paul. And from the looks of his attention span during the Steve Vai dvd they just finished, he may have a band mate too. Heaven help me if I have two shredders in this house!

ejk

This is my arrival

Way past the hour of 11, when responsible people are dreaming fast into their prepared for tomorrow, Aron and I sat watching sermons online. I would love to quote Steven Furtick, the words which rang true deep in my spirit, but I didn't write them down. So a paraphrase will do:

The destination is a mirage. So you'd might as well enjoy the journey, because - NEWSFLASH - you're never going to arrive.

I'm the 'arriving' type. Lists, with tasks neatly crossed off, send me into peaceful validation. I like to know my destination, and march decidedly in that direction until I...

Arrive.

Nothing about our journey as a family has catered to this desire in me.

And all the intuition within me knows that is of divine design.

A weaning, a pruning, a chopping down to nubbin' -

To strip me of my planning and plotting - building a kingdom of my own desires fulfilled.

Marching decidedly toward that which makes my heart come alive.

His purposes - who can understand them? But I try, and I believe Him when He says He gives wisdom to those who ask for it.

His divine discipline for me:

To grow roots in me deep as the underground rivers flowing so alive beneath winter's frozen ground.

To awaken my heart to the joy of seeking first his Kingdom, and letting all else take its proper place.

Beneath.

Enjoyed, but not worshipped.

And so I pause in the midst of desires buried deep -

Deep as the laundry piled high in unarrived trampled mess -

Among unfulfilled dreams and hopes that dare to inhale again,

To enjoy journey today.

Knowing this day will be crossed off my to do list forever.

Never to be enjoyed again.

And these moments,

They evaporate before me like a morning mist.

Vanishing.

Until that beautiful day when He calls me by my true name.

When, crown in hand, casting at His beautiful feet

I can finally say,

"This is my arrival."

ejk

To quote my husband, "Alive with the Glory of Love"

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

We recited this scripture over breakfast (with my barely awake girl; I pulled her out of bed at 10 am as her date with daddy would be in only 2 hours and I had made her favorite breakfast: french toast!).

"I've never had heart french toast before, mommy!" She ate every last bite.

She'd had her dress and earrings picked out for days! Anxiously awaiting her daddy's arrival - watching at the window for him to come in the front door. He came in the back and snuck up behind her!

Belle was delighted!

The other night Isabelle and I were praying at bedtime, and I began praying for the man she will one day marry - that he will grow to love Jesus and be strong and brave and full of integrity. After I'd finished she said, "Mom, are we praying for Daddy? Cause that's who I'm going to marry!"

One thing is for sure: when the time comes for a young man to court our girl, she will know what it is to be loved, pursued, cherished by the guardian of her heart, her daddy.

She was just beside herself to place her flowers in water. But wait...not quite right...

A little tea towel on the table and voila!

And a gift from daddy to his littlest valentine!

Belle filled a heart shaped box (which she decorated) with paper hearts. On each one she wrote what she loved about her daddy. Here are a few:

"Strong"

"Handsome"

"Daddy paints the world"

"He is the best!"

Judah looking on.

I am well aware my son will most likely hate these photos one day, but who can resist a little cupid?

Aron and I had a lovely date, and though we took our camera along, we never quite found the right opportunity to capture the moment. Some moments are best stored in the heart, shared between only two souls. Last night was one of those times.

I will say that I was most surprised by the date he planned, but his gift to me is what floored me. I never expected it!

I opened the card, filled with beautiful words that stirred me to tears.

After reading the lyrics to one of my favorite songs that he's written,

"Let's take it slowly,

like we're dancing.

In a dream we

Can be anything..."

I saw it:

Private dancing lessons for the two of us...just for fun. Private...eeek? I'm having Dancing with Stars visions of fear (Aron said he's really nervous too!!) He said its nothing he would ever (EVER) chose for himself, but he knew I'd love it. He is so thoughtful that way. How fun! Our first lesson is in one week!

Overwhelmed with LOVE.

So undeserving of it, but so alive in its purity,

ejk

2.12.11

Moments before you would never believe the alligator tears rolling off this precious face.

"DAH-DEEEE" and "Sissss" were off to the library, and because this trip would involve several other stops, Aron thought it best if Judah stayed behind. Smart logic, but our little Lion Cub stood at the door with a crushed spirit not quite understanding. Left with a mountain of Pancake Saturday dishes and a terribly upset toddler, I had an idea; a stroke of genius (or insanity - I think the line between the two is often indistinguishable).

Judah could 'help' me do dishes. Distraction for him, dishes for me. We both would be happy.

I realized quickly I wouldn't be getting many dishes done.

But who can really do chores next to such a charming little dude. I had to stop to take him in.

Remember him just this way.

Splashing turned into cupfuls of water dumped over eager head.

Soaked to the diaper and shivering something fierce, I stripped Judah naked and snuggled him close.

Warm and dry, and ready for some more fun.

"What can we get into now, Mom?!"

He's a live wire.

And I love it,

ejk

blanketed

Guess what? It snowed. Again. Another 5 or 6 inches this weekend.

While I was supposed to be cleaning up Pancake Saturday dishes, I couldn't step away from the windows as I watched my family play. It was then that I caught Aron and the kids face planting in the snow eating it.

And one last one because Belle wanted her grandmas to see her all dressed up as Ariel with her updo and sparklies (which she did all by herself - the sparklies that is). Aren't her poses the best? I don't know where she gets her girly, prissy ways. I really don't. What? Why are you laughing?

And in the midst of struggle I find myself blanketed in His love.

Again and again, like the snow that just. keeps. coming.

At just the right time, a friend pulls me aside, offers words of hope.

Or a phone call from one so dear, saying I have been on her heart, and she is lifting me up, though we haven't spoken in years.

Moments of laughter, moments of acceptance - despite oh so many flaws -

Moments of forgiveness and just plain being;

These are nurturing to me.

I can't figure out why He loves us like He does.

Or how He patiently endures our ever so delicate emotional states.

Maybe it is as Beth Moore says, "Jesus knows its scary being us."

Maybe he empathizes more than we can know, and so the Spirit intercedes in our weakness.

I can testify to this.

In my hanging by a thread moments, moments failed at faith,

When I am least deserving of His attention, His affection, His pursuit,

He shows up, and hovers in my chaos,

A light in my darkness, bringing order and beauty.

He's just perfect like that.

Irresistibly perfect.

blanketed,

ejk