I'm walking the line of utter gratitude and heartache,
All wrapped up in the same deep breath.
A husband's quiet strength proves a safe place for tears that just keep coming.
And prayers offered up together engage the King of Heaven in my insignificant troubles.
We tell Him of the ache, the loss, the fear.
We invite Him in, into the mess, into the longing.
Knowing a word from God of the Angel Armies
And the enemy is silenced, a heart is set free.
I find myself feeling guilty for struggling,
Beating up self that I just can't command my heart to feel as it should,
And find that it reverently obeys.
So I invite Him in to my inadequacy,
Praying that if the winds and the waves obey his voice,
He would teach my heart to submit just the same.
He knows what I need before I ask,
So I'll rest in His perfect provision.
My Good Shepherd leads me into pasture and rest,
beside still waters and through the valley of death.
He leads, and so I must trust the voice I know well.
And lean into His leading,
Though at times it is ever so counterintuitive to what the heart thinks it needs.
You, Great God, are just exactly what I need,
And you never disappoint.
I. Trust. You.