Thursday, June 12, 2008

wounds: surface and mortal





Our first fleshy catastrophe: a minor abrasian...but don't tell Belle this.


Dora makes gravel-filled, skinned knees much better...and she also makes little girls very proud.
Along the same lines, I had a monster size wound resurface this week. You know those wounds so deep inside - the ones that for most of your life have left you feeling broken in some capacity. For some of you its inadequacy - do you have what it takes? For others you wonder if you are truly worth being loved. For some its rejection. Still others its abandonment or loneliness. For me...its "I do not belong..." The list can go on and on. But one thing is for certain, Satan (& the forces of evil) know your wound very intimately and will use your life circumstances to "shoot arrows" directly at your weak spot.
You may go months and months walking toward restoration and feeling virtually free of this core heart issue, then - *bam* (there's some onomonopeia for ya) out of nowhere you feel ambushed with a tidal wave of hurt and frustration related to your particular wound.
That was exactly my story the first of this week. It was a rough few days feeling as if all the healing God was working in my spirit was just land blasted by a few expertly planted thoughts and circumstances by my enemy.
I wonder why...and this I do not fully know. But I do know the past two weeks have been a season of transition for our family, I have started a new job and am much busier, aron & I have had less quality time, & for these reasons I am more vulnerable. This is a perfect time for a mortal enemy to attack - and where better to attack than at the area of greatest weakness? I was no where near prepared to fight off the thoughts I heard in my head concerning not belonging. And before I could blink, they were taking residence and made for a miserable few days.
Thankfully, God in His great love, is a warrior like no other. Thankfully, he fights for us when we have no idea how to defend ourselves. And at the end of that battle, he picks us up, and tells us we are His. He speaks truth to the lies and brings healing to the wound. Healing is a process, but as we are made new, our wounds begin to look less like scars and more like a glorious story of redemption.
Remember... when we are weak, then we are strong, because HIS power is made perfect in our weakness.
amen
ejk
ps...The Sacred Romance by John Eldridge & Brent Curtis is an excellent book that is so, so relevant to this subject. If you're reading this sentence, you need to read that book. If you're Josh or Marie Young, yes, we still have your copy (sorry, we moved...but we'll return it, someday) & it changed both of our lives.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

owwwieee! :( Poor Belle. Glad her Daddy was there to pick her up & fix it with a Dora band-aid.


Ouchie- Erica, I'm glad your Daddy was there to pick you up and wrap his arms around you. You do belong-- to him. No matter where you are. I, for one, am glad you a here. I'm enjoying getting to know you and am blessed my your insight.

Josh Young said...

I wondered where I had put that book! :)

Glad it helped. We miss you guys.